I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
