i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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