Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
