in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
