are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
