i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
