we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
