Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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