2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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