the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
