thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
