so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
