you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Boobs speak an international language.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
