Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
