Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
