let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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