Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
