Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
