Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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