I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
