i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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