The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
