So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
