last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
