We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
