I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
