whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
