How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
