we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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