i just google imaged poop.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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