I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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