I'm drive I can fine osifer
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
