I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I could make wine with my vomit
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
