i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
