how can u be prego again
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
