At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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