Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
