:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
