My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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