the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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