do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
