You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
