omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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