I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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