I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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