I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
As shirtless as possible
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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