shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
