READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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