At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
