I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
